The One About People-Pleasing 🫣

When someone asks what you want and your automatic response is “I don’t care, whatever you want”… even though you absolutely DO care… congrats, babe. We might need to talk about people pleasing. 😬

In this episode, we’re breaking down why so many of us are more comfortable disappointing ourselves than disappointing someone else. We talk about where people-pleasing behaviors come from, how they differ from simply being kind or considerate, and how to start tolerating the discomfort of having needs, saying no, and—gasp—letting someone be disappointed in you.

Because the goal isn’t to stop caring about other people. It’s to remember that you’re one of the people whose feelings matter, too.

What’s in the Episode:

• 00:00 — Welcome + People Pleasing 101
• 01:29 — Tea & Crumpets
• 05:28 — The DSM: People Pleasing, Fawning + Boundaries
• 37:15 — Now That’s What I Call— OKAYY!
• 41:41 — Fire Dumpster Phoenix
• 46:20 — Wrap-Up

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Chellie Carlson
• Chellie Carlson on Instagram
• The Five-Star Weekend on Peacock
• “Same Drugs” by Chance the Rapper
• “Paper Bag” by Fiona Apple
• Good News Network — Nashville songwriter rescuing foxes with mange
• Good News Network — Hotel staff gives lost stuffed animal the VIP treatment

Connect with Us:

• More about the pod / past episodes: https://gaiacenter.co/podcast
• Watch us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ButForRealPod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bpcfrAOxJNXTx1cYHV5t8?si=7846bd1d33fb4155
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• Val on IG: https://www.instagram.com/existentiallyval
• The Gaia Center website: https://www.gaiacenter.co/

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.